It is totally messy these days. I've been thinking a lot about my future. For the first time in my life, I've thought about to further my studies. This is kind weird of me. Since high school all in my mind is how I'm gonna live my life, how I'm gonna make my life wonderful, fun and sort of. I did my diploma just because of my parents, and yeah, because I've got a feeling called ENVIOUS. Envy of my friends getting into college and matrix and universities.
I felt like I was left behind. And hate that feeling! I let people around me to control me, choose the path of my life (I know, it's supposed to be me to chose) and I just followed everything to the end.
It's been a month since I finished my studies. A month ago, I thought of changing my career, my pathway. I want to do my own way. I want to choose what I want to be. I want to take over of my life. I want to enjoy my life like it suppose to be.
But suddenly, I felt missing. I miss to study again. I miss to be a student. I miss to be called a student. It just a month and I already miss my student's life. I miss the challenges I had to face everyday just to complete my journey to the end.
I wish to continue to be a student. I wish to further my studies. I've thinking of UKM. I plan to further in there but I'm not sure if I can. 'cause I'd stick to a kind of troublesome contract when I was doing my diploma. Argh! So hard to think!
May Allah makes everything easy for me.
Labels: student, study, thinking
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